I grieve. As stupid as it is, I grieve the life the was once mine.
It happens at random times of the day. I get out of the shower, catching myself in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. My eyes glaze over, and I reminisce about him, wrapping the cloth around my head, patting my face dry.
I can’t think of it for too long. There is no use, it’s another time now.
“Don’t reject reality”, I think to myself.
I comb my hair, brush my teeth, give myself the love I gave to him and get into bed. I am healing now.
Loving something never meant taking everything from it. He took everything from me.
I ignored the warning signs of the end.
Seasons had made sense. Now I bleed.
My emotions became unpredictable. Some days were unbearably hot, anger boiling beneath my skin until I thought I was going to split apart. Other days arrived without warning, cold and empty, settling into places they did not belong. Tears streaming down my face as loud as the screams forced from my throat.
And he’d stand there. I’d plead with him to care, but it was too late. Too much was going on; too much to control, too many corporations to confront, too many people arriving without understanding the cost of leaving.
Slowly, my fragility expanded. I couldn’t support the seabeds anymore. From Venice to Australia, I was deteriorating. There was too much disruption. I was torn down.
The worst is that he came to watch. He would visit me to get one last look before I was completely gone. A slow tragedy, incapable of saving.
When I begged him to change his mind, he stood still.
The truth is that saving could have been done, but he didn’t want to.
Now I reminisce about the days we were together.
…
I realise that heartbreak doesn’t only happen between people. Sometimes it happens between humanity and the places we love. Or claim to love.
I do not want to become another visitor, collecting photographs like evidence and leaving footprints like kicks to the stomach. I want to travel consciously; to listen before I speak, support communities before convenience, and give more than I take.
I choose to support communities with longevity in mind. I choose to reduce my effects wherever possible, travelling meaningfully and slowly, and understanding the impacts of my presence.
To me, engaging in climate action, responsible consumption and production, and supporting sustainable cities and communities are not distant goals but decisions made every day.
Sustainability isn’t about loving the world less cautiously; it is about loving it with responsibility.
So, we never have to reminisce.
